Psalms 25:1-7, 11, 12, “I offer you my heart, Lord God, and I trust you. Don’t make me ashamed or let my enemies defeat me. Don’t disappoint any of your worshipers, but disappoint all deceitful liars. Show me your paths and teach me to follow; guide me by your truth and instruct me. You keep me safe, and I always trust you. Please, Lord, remember, you have always been patient and kind. Forget each wrong I did when I was young. Show how truly kind you are and remember me.”… “Be true to your name, Lord, by forgiving each one of my terrible sins. You will show the right path to all who worship you.”
“Everything inside your head is raw, but I don’t think infection has set in,” the doctor said. That explained the three-day headache and persistent hives. He prescribed a hefty dose of Prednisone until Memorial Day…and then we’ll talk.
I went home, took 4 Prednisone, 3 Ibuprofen, 2 Benadryl, picked up my music and set off for church. This would be the third time I substituted on the keyboard with a face full of hives. Each time, I thought I would not sing back-up and keep my head down. Each time my husband, or the Worship Pastor, changed my mind.
The microphone is not big enough to hide behind and the spotlight heated up the hives nicely. I couldn’t stand the ear buds in my ears and decided to use the house speakers as my monitors. I finished practice and felt something. I immediately sat down and evaluated: dehydrated? drug reaction? sleep deprived? I wasn’t sure.
Two minutes into the sermon Pastor said, “Where’s Pam.” I tentatively raised my hand and he said, “I’m going to pray for you later.” I made a fist and whispered, “Yes.”
He preached some more, stopped and said, “Pam, are you ready to be prayed for?” This time, both Sara and I loudly said, “Yes!” Sara’s husband chided her, but I turned my head and said, “Sara always has my back.”
He preached some more and then, finally, called me forward. When he prayed for me I felt something and knew what I felt earlier was not dehydration, a drug reaction or sleep deprivation. It was God.
He prayed for another man and started preaching again. I started to go back to my seat when he called my name again. He prayed again and I felt the same thing again. I decided to just stay put.
He started preaching again and mentioned arrogance and pride. He used the example of someone who worked at a job for 25 years and didn’t think anyone could tell them how to do their job.
And I was sitting on the front row! “Yes, God, I know you are talking to me, but I would have heard it back on the fourth row…honest.”
I spent the rest of the sermon repenting and trying to listen; when all I wanted to do was lay down on the chairs and enjoy feeling God’s presence. He went home with me. When I woke up this morning I could still feel Him.
The hives are still there, but the headache is gone. My plan is to just keep chugging along. I could really relate to the words King David wrote in Psalms 25.