There’s More to Sex Than Skin on Skin

June 8th

I got the idea from Pastor Gary Van Nyhuis. He celebrates 5-9 day. On May 9th, he wears his football jersey, bearing the #59, reads Psalms 59, etc.

I dug out David’s football jersey, #68, and took a picture. I posted it on Facebook. “When competing with the Cardinals for your husband’s attention, you pull out a memory! Happy 6-8 Day!”

He loved it. And I looked forward to a romantic evening.

When we were finally alone, he went to the bedroom…(“It worked,” I thought!)…and turned on the Cardinals game. *sigh*

I stayed in my office until he went to the kitchen for a drink. Then I hid his peanut M & M’s!

I held them hostage until he changed the channel. Grandma was right! The only way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!

I’m fighting for my marriage here!

“Research has shown that about two-thirds of all divorces today are occurring in low-conflict marriages. That is, they’re ending without a death-blow like infidelity or physical abuse. Instead a couple simply accumulates enough disagreement and disharmony that they begin believing that the best option for doing away with the headaches is just to do away with the marriage. …the best marriage to be in is the one they already have. …you’re still going to be married to an imperfect person, even if you swap one spouse for another. Only now you’re going to be bringing all that divorce baggage into your new relationship. …if a couple can find as little as 20% of their marriage that they would call satisfactory, they have a better than 90% chance of making their marriage better in 2 years – if they stick with it, if they keep fighting, if they don’t give up…” “Finders Keepers” In a “Moments with You” Email from

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1 Corinthians 7:10-11, “And if you are married, stay married. This is the Master’s command, not mine. (11) If a wife should leave her husband, she must either remain single or else come back and make things right with him. And a husband has no right to get rid of his wife.” The Message

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(“Using the phrase ‘not bound,’ 7:15, Paul was echoing the exact language of ancient divorce contracts, which spoke of marriage as “binding” a woman to her husband and divorce as “loosing” or “freeing” a woman for remarriage… Ancient readers would have understood ‘not bound’ as Paul’s permission for an abandoned person to remarry.” Chronological Study Bible Notes)

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1 Corinthians 7:17, “And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. …” The Message

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1 Corinthians 7:29-31, “I do want to point out, friends, that time is of the essence. There is no time to waste, so don’t complicate your lives unnecessarily. Keep it simple – in marriage, (30) grief, joy, whatever. Even in ordinary things – your daily routines of shopping, and so on. (31) Deal as sparingly as possible with the things the world thrust on you. This world as you see it is on its way out.” The Message

June 9th

I was feeling pretty smug and clever when I opened my Bible to read. I thought, “David was wrong to ignore me night after night watching baseball.”

(Note: You may think I should watch the games with him. I tried. It’s bad enough feeling ignored, but worse feeling ignored and bored!)

1 Corinthians 7:1-5, “Now, getting down to the question you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? (2) Certainly – but only in a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. (3) Sexual desires are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. (4) The Marriage bed must be a place of mutuality – the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to ‘stand up for your rights.’ …

(God spoke to my heart. “Rebuffing him as punishment for too many nights of baseball is also defrauding your spouse.” Ouch!)

…Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or not. (5) Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting – but only for such times. Then come back again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it.” The Message

Men want sex with a good attitude. Women want romance. You can’t manipulate either one.

The world tells you to keep trying until you find your “soul mate.” What they are really looking for is a spiritual connection. Soul things, (mental and emotional), cannot satisfy your spirit.

1 Corinthians 6:16-17, “There’s more to sex than skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, ‘The two become one.’ (17) Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever – the kind of sex that can never ‘become one.’ ” The Message

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1 Corinthians 6:12, “Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it’s spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims.” The Message

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1 Corinthians 6:13, “You know the old saying, ‘First you eat to live, and then you live to eat”? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that’s no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor Him with your body!” The Message

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