23 | August | 2019 | This Year's Bible Reading Guide

I got out our birth certificates and clipped them to the passport applications. As instructed online, I took mine to the post office. (David will get his later.)

The postmaster finished with the customer he was helping. There was only one person in line – Brian, who used to work at the Civic Center. A brunette came in and got in line behind me. Brian left.

“I’m here to apply for a passport.”

“You can’t do that here,” the brunette behind me said, “you have to go to the recorder’s office. I work there.” The postmaster just smiled and nodded.

* * * * * * *

At the recorder’s office, a blonde helped me. She rejected my birth certificate!

“This one is not valid to apply for a passport.”

“It’s the only one my mother had.”

“You have to apply for a new one. The lady who does that just went to the bank.”

“No,” I replied, “she’s at the post office. I just spoke with her.”

“Come back in an hour.”

Jeremiah 49:4, “Why do you brag of your once-famous strength? You’re a broken-down has-been, a castoff…” The Message

(I used that birth certificate for my driver’s and marriage licenses. Am I driving illegally? Am I married?)

I went to the library. Then I stopped at the lumberyard to get water from David.

“You’re married to an alien,” I informed him, “they rejected my birth certificate.”

(I was born here and have lived in this town for 39 years. Suddenly, I’m not valid?)

I went to Goodwill until the hour was up. When I went back to the courthouse, my shirt was stuck to my back, my hair started to frizz, my makeup melted off, and my lip color faded to an outline.

Jeremiah 49:6, “Still, the time will come when I will make things right…” The Message

I filled out the paperwork with the blonde while the brunette looked for my name in the record book.

“I found it,” she said, “Virginia Cary.”

(She’s my cousin.)

I gave her my name again. She kept looking.

Meanwhile, the blonde said, “I need a check for the birth certificate.”

I dutifully wrote it out. The brunette found my name and made a birth certificate.

I thought I would have to wait on the passport. But, no, the blonde took me to a cold room in the basement.

“Sit on that box and take off your glasses.”

I did.

“And the ones on your head.”

I forgot my sunglasses.

She took the picture. “I don’t like it. There are dark circles under your eyes and a line of pink by your mouth.”

(An hour earlier, I had pink lips.) “The dark circles are from allergies,” I explained.

She took another one. “I still don’t like it. You are as pale as the background.”

(Well, the last time I was outside for more than a few minutes was July, 2018.)

She decided to darken the background.

The picture is awful!

“I need a check…oh, you didn’t fill out your parent’s information.”

“I thought that was just for minors. I don’t know what year they were born.”

“We can get that off of your birth certificate.”

“The one that is invalid?”

“Yes.”

Jeremiah 49:7, “…Is there nobody wise left…no one with a sense of reality?” The Message

I filled out that portion and wrote a second check for the passport.

“I need another check for $45.00 for the picture and processing.”

(That picture is not worth $45.00!)

“I hope that is the last check you need because I am out of blank checks.”

She gave me an extra copy of the passport photo. I think I’ll put it in the basement to scare the spiders.

They gave me a pretty envelope for my new birth certificate. I will have to wait 8-10 weeks for my passport and another 21 days for my birth certificate to be returned. Then I will be bonafide!