A Sad Heart Produces a Broken Spirit

David and I married young – really young! We waited almost 5 years to have children. The picture below was taken right before our second anniversary.

David and I serving as counselors at the Spencer Lake Youth Camp.

When people ask us the secret to a long marriage, we both answer…

“Marriage Counseling!”

It felt like we were in counseling for the first 20 years! You would think we have it all figured out. We don’t.

In sickness and in health

The last 17 months have been a battle with debilitating allergies. The dermatologist found the trigger and I finally healed.

But I had an appointment scheduled at the allergy clinic in Iowa City for months. My instructions were to stop medications 5 days before the appointment.

I was not a happy camper. I was miserable.

I took the medicine as soon as the doctor let me but my eyes did not stop watering.

Doctor: “Your eyes look angry.”

Me: “I am mad at them, too!”

Twenty-four hours later, my eyes were still watering constantly. I couldn’t see!

David came home from work and found me sitting on the couch listening to a movie. He said something less than helpful and I responded in kind.

I shut down.

Proverbs 15:13, “A joyful heart makes a face cheerful, but a sad heart produces a broken spirit.”

Christian Standard Bible

We have been married too long for me to be wondering if I made a mistake. But I started to wonder.

I could relate to everything Toni Nieuwhof said in a guest post on annvoskamp.com.

“I didn’t know how to engage our differences anymore. I wondered whether I should reach out and let the people close to us know how deeply we were struggling. …

Are you sowing seeds of kindness, patience, and love? Or are you sowing indifference, criticism, or suspicion?…”

“Before You Split” by Toni Nieuwhof

I didn’t want a broken spirit. Only God can help me sow the correct seeds.

“Enlighten me with a clear shining inward light, and remove away all darkness from the habitation of my heart. (3 – 23 – 4)”

“Principles of a Centered Life,” Compiled and with notes by Michael Phillips

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