The series at E3 Youth this month is “Clean” teaching about purity. It led to an interesting conversation on the way home.
Laura: “Hey, dad, who did you hope to marry? Farah Fawcett?”
Laura: “Olivia Newton-John?”
David: “No, but I did like Valerie Bertinelli.”
Me: “Good choice! She is pretty and sweet!”
Laura: “Betty White?”
(We both burst out laughing.)
David: “That would be like having a crush on your grandmother!”
David wisely waited until God sent the woman he was to marry – me!
Abner did not.
2 Samuel 3:8, “Then Abner was very angry over the words of Ish-bosheth and said, ‘Am I a dog’s head that belongs to Judah? Today I show kindness to the house of Saul your father, to his brothers and to his friends, and have not delivered you into the hands of David; and yet today you charge me with a guilt concerning the woman.'” New American Standard Bible
Abner had casual sex, so casual that he couldn’t remember her name. When confronted, he became angry and decided to switch allegiance to the army he had fought for three years. Unfortunately, the leader of that army, Joab, was still mourning the death of his brother, Asahel, whom Abner killed in the first battle.
Abner’s casual sex cost him his life.
King David also started having sex with many women.
2 Samuel 5:13, “Meanwhile David took more concubines and wives from Jerusalem after he came from Hebron; and more sons and daughters were born to David.”New American Standard Bible
Sex is the glue that holds a marriage together. Each time you become one flesh; you glue parts of yourself to each other. You cannot get that glue back.
If you have casual sex with others you lose a part of yourself each time. And a part of each partner, and every partner they had sex with, is stuck to you. You may be healthy and they may be healthy, but someone their last partner slept with may not. It could be years before what is stuck to you displays symptoms.
There is one partner, you may not know, who is ready to spend the rest of their life learning how to please you sexually. They prove it by making a lifelong commitment called marriage. And the temptation to have sex is the greatest right before you meet them.
Sex is an appetite, just like hunger. While trying to lose weight, we remove the temptation to our hunger. We stop buying junk food, snacks, and soft drinks with empty calories.
We know what feeds our sexual appetite. We have to remove the apps, movies, and romance novels that arouse us because they will leave us empty. And giving in to that temptation once could lead to our death – like Abner.
King David’s story is different. After he let his lust rule him, he repented. He was forgiven and didn’t die, but still suffered the consequences. He watched his children die: Bathsheba’s baby, Amnon, and Absalom.
When encountering a sexual temptation, our only option is to run!
1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee sexual immorality. Every other sin that a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”New American Standard Bible
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