The statistics for divorce are appalling. They are even higher for a second or third marriage. But you can beat the odds by using the principles in the Bible.
The first time I heard this verse quoted was by a newly married man. It was his 3rd marriage and her 2nd. The odds were against them. But it has been almost two decades and they are still going strong! We read their secret today.
Deuteronomy 24:5, “If a man and a woman have been married less than one year, he must not be sent off to war or sent away to do forced labor. He must be allowed to stay home for a year and be happy with his wife.”
He quoted this verse when he was asked to serve on the church board. They cut out all extra activities and concentrated on their work and their marriage for that first year.
What if you are not a newlywed? Is it too late?
No! The secrets to keeping a marriage strong can be found in 1 Corinthian’s 13.
“Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes to the bone.”
Esther had a beauty that went clear to the bone. Her beauty outshone the sexiest women.
King Xerxes had been king for three years when he deposed Queen Vashti, (Esther 1:3). He had a Queen and a harem of wives. After the girls spent one night with him, they were sent to his harem, (Esther 2:14).
He had a different, beautiful, young girl every night for several years before he even saw Esther, (2:15). I’m sure all of them tried to be sexy to win Queen Vashti’s crown.
Not Esther. Look at the verbs in today’s verse.
Esther 2:17, “Xerxes liked Esther more than he did any of the other young women. None of them pleased him as much as she did, and right away he fell in love with her and crowned her queen in place of Vashti.”
He liked her. She was pleasing or pleasant. Then he fell in love with her.
“Beauty is as beauty does.”
2 Kings 18:2, “…His mother Abi was the daughter of Zechariah.”
2 Chronicles 29:12-14, “…the following Levite leaders…Zechariah and Mattaniah from the Asaph clan.”
Where does a king go to find a wife?
They either married the daughter of a priest or a Levite. The political marriages to princesses of other countries usually led to their downfall.
Isaiah 4:1, “When this happens, seven women will grab the same man, and each of them will say, ‘I’ll buy my own food and clothes! Just marry me and take away my disgrace.'”
“Take away my disgrace: If a woman did not have a husband or children, it was thought that God was punishing her.” CEV Bible Notes
There would be a shortage of men, seven to one.
These marriages would not be a “marriage of convenience.” The man was required to feed, clothe and have sex routinely with all of his wives. These women were not after his money, but wanted his name and his children.
In his sermon on Sunday, Pastor Monte Knudsen mentioned the “Five Love Languages.” He said we try to speak to our spouse and children using our “Love Language,” when we need to speak to them using their “Love Language.”
The “Five Love Languages” are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
- Quality Time
- Gift Giving
I was unsure of David’s “Love Language” and didn’t even know my own! I went online to http://www.the-relationship-coach.com/five-love-languages-quiz.html and printed off the quiz.
I read the questions to David and wrote down his answer and my answer to each one. We were both surprised with the results.
Why did we take the time to do this? Because each day we are choosing each other above all others.
Song of Solomon 6:8, 9, “What if I could have sixty queens, eighty wives; and thousands of others! You would be my only choice…”
At some point, Solomon stopped choosing her over all others because he ended up with 1000 wives, 1 Kings 11:3. And all of those wives led to his downfall and his son only inheriting one-sixth of the kingdom, 1 Kings 11:1-13.
“Heaven on Earth” – David and Nicole Binion
I confess; I thought the male nurse that took care of our son all Friday night long was cute. I may not have noticed, but he seemed to be the same age as our daughter. I’m a typical mother, trying to find a mate for my daughter.
It seemed arranged marriages were the norm in the Bible; but today I read a verse about five women who were allowed to choose their own husbands because their father had died and they had no brothers.
Numbers 36:6, “This is what the Lord commands concerning the daughters of Zelophehad: Let them marry who they think best…”
What did my daughter think of the male nurse? As soon as her brother had been given something for pain and all the tests had been run, she stretched out on the floor next to his bed and fell asleep!
I guess I will have to let her marry who she thinks best.
“How He Loves Us” Kim Walker
I have always required a lot of sleep, but this weekend has been ridiculous! I slept 12-1/2 hours on Friday and 10 hours last night. I blame the Benadryl!
I am so glad God accepts me exactly the way I am. I read that in two different books today.
“Come to Me when you are weak and weary. Rest snugly in My everlasting arms. I do not despise your weakness, My child. Actually, it draws Me closer to you, because weakness stirs up My compassion – My yearning to help.” Jesus is Calling, by Sarah Young
When God saw the naked woman in the field, he covered her, married her and provided for her.
Ezekiel 16:8, “Now I passed by you again and looked upon you; behold, you were maturing and at the time for love, and I spread My skirt over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I plighted my troth to you and entered into a covenant with you, says the Lord, and you became Mine.”
“Spread my skirt over you” – means to become engaged and “troth” – means faithfulness.
We have been married for almost 31 years. There were times that I knew I loved my husband, but I no longer felt like I was “in love” with him. During those dry seasons, I kept my marriage vows to God because that is to Whom we make our wedding vows.
Those seasons never last forever and soon I would fall in love with him all over again. It is definitely sweeter the second and third time. Sadly, many people hit a dry spell and think it is all over.
That can happen in our relationship with God. We go through a difficult time and don’t feel like we are “in love” with Him. Those times will also pass.
Isaiah 54:6, 7, “For the Lord has called you like a woman forsaken, grieved in spirit, and heartsore – even a wife [wooed and won] in youth, when she is [later] refused and scorned, says your God. For a brief moment I forsook you, but with great compassion and mercy I will gather you [to Me] again.”
It is not common to mention the names of wives in the Bible. When her name is mentioned there usually is a reason.
Acts 24:24, “Some days later Felix came with his wife Drusilla, who was a Jewess…”
“This beautiful but infamous woman was the third daughter of Herod Agrippa I, who was eaten of worms (see on Acts 12:1), and a sister of Agrippa II, before whom Paul pleaded. She was ‘given in marriage to Azizus, king of the Emesenes, who had consented to be circumcised for the sake of the alliance. But this marriage was soon dissolved, after this manner: When Festus was procurator of Judea, he saw her, and being captivated with her beauty, persuaded her to desert her husband, transgress the laws of her country, and marry himself.’ Such was this “wife” of Felix.” Critical and Explanatory Commentary, Vol. II
Paul did not change his message, (v. 25), for them or offer them a bribe, (v. 26).
I am a morning person. I wake up with the birds, rejuvenated and ready to sing. Unfortunately, the rest of my family is night owls and they have to report to work at 5:30 am, 6:30 am and 7:00 am. You don’t talk to them in the morning.
I knew this when I asked my husband to replace a board on our new front stoop. He is just coming from vacation and had his mind full of everything he needed to check on at work. He didn’t want to even think about that stoop. I had bad timing.
2 Corinthians 6:2, “For He says, In the time of favor (of an assured welcome) I have listened to and heeded your call, and I have helped you on the day of deliverance [the day of salvation]. Behold, now is truly the time for a gracious welcome and acceptance [of you from God]; behold, now is the day of salvation! [Isaiah 49:8.]”
“The Greek of the latter is more emphatic, “well-accepted.” What was “an accepted time” in the prophecy [Isaiah 49:8], Hebrew, (“in the season of grace.”), becomes the “well-accepted time.” Critical and Explanatory Commentary, Vol. II
When I read today’s verse, I realized I should have prayed about talking to David. I should have asked God to tell me when it was a good time to discuss it. I should have waited for a time of favor (of an assured and gracious welcome).